Critics not pretty in pink

The producers are staggering the Press nights of the musical Legally Blonde at the Savoy Theatre, with an embargo on reviews until Thursday — although the show has been running since the first week of December — in order, they say, for the critics to experience the show with a “real” or “normal” audience.

I went on Saturday night and I’ve never sat in an audience so unreal or abnormal. Weird couples, clacking hen parties, simpering teenage girls: it was like being stuck in a nightmare college campus graduation ceremony.

And of course, worse thing of all, plonked in the middle of a row for the routine, undeserved standing ovation that I would have cheerfully exchanged for having my teeth extracted with a pair of garden pliers.

The whole business of manipulating the critical coverage to this extent is only to do with fear of the truth getting out. Our Whatsonstage.com theatre goers outing last week already give a good idea of what to expect, even if you haven’t seen the film.

And today’s Guardian keeps up the supine Press campaign by headlining a page seven story: “Camp, frothy and a sell-out: a musical hit before it opens.” Can’t wait to see what Michael Billington thinks.

Nestled in the Guardian story is the muted news that the show was a flop on Broadway. Here, the film, which is a cute little cult, has guaranteed a strange explosion on Facebook, making sure the critics are totally by-passed in getting the news to the people most likely to want to see the musical. Fair enough, but I think this means the embargo is in tatters and should be ignored, asap.

The Daily Telegraph, anyway, informed its readers on Saturday that the reviews will appear on Wednesday. Come on, chaps, we can do better than that: let’s start reading some proper critical writing tomorrow, before the Strand turns completely pink and we’re overrun with silly blonde girls carrying chihuahuas in their handbags.

We urgently need some answers to the questions: why doesn’t the big ugly boxer dog eat the ruddy chihuahua? Why is Sheridan Smith wearing not one, but two, hideous blonde wigs? Why is Duncan James of Blue playing the wrong role? And whoever thought the perfect film script — it’s an absolute gem of cynically assembled construction and wit — would transfer to the very different demands of a musical theatre libretto?

I look forward to finding out the answers, perhaps even supplying some of them, when we’re “allowed” to publish reviews.

But people should know that newspapers have been collaborating in a cover-up for too long and that “arts reporting” is taking the success of the show on trust and printing box office revenue figures — is it £1.5m or £2m? — without any means of verification.

The loser in the end of this sorry mess will be the theatre itself: for by Thursday, no news editor will want the show given any more prominence on the news pages, and the reviews — positive and negative — will be hidden away at the back of the paper on the arts pages.

Finally, the producers will say, who cares anyway what the critics say? The show’s not for them.

And on this, at least, they might very well be correct. Another question, though: do producers want a healthy critical climate or a hysterical blogosphere? Two answers to that one: both please, and they don’t care. They want to make money.     

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534 Responses to Critics not pretty in pink

  1. honestly says:

    It sounds utterly vile, Michael. Just imagine, being stuck in the middle of a crowd of paying theatregoers, who are enjoying what they are seeing. I hope you have survived this ordeal, and a semblance of order can be restored, and we can look forward to reading more 5 star reviews of revivals of Whistle Down The Wind, and hearing about the canapes at press launches. This is, after all, British theatre in the second decade of the 21st century.

  2. checking the facts says:

    Michael, you wish to check your facts. It wasn’t a flop on Broadway. It ran for two years. I saw the wonderful touring production at the Kennedy Center in Washington D.C. during a holiday last year. I was utterly charmed by the show and had a lovely evening. I bought the recording, and listen to it often. The lyrics are extremely witty, particularly “Blood in the Water” — ‘read your Thomas Hobbes.’

  3. Keith says:

    Why is Duncan James of Blue playing the wrong role? He’s a singer not an actor. I think the success of the show hangs on the fact of the leading actress, couldn’t have picked the better person for the role. I wish it all the success.

  4. James says:

    Once again Michael Coveney proves himself massively out of touch with the theatre-going public. Thank you Whatsonstage.

  5. Peter Harlock says:

    A show that runs for 2 years and a show that makes money are not the same thing as any investor (and I am one) will tell you. A 2million advance is nothing for a musical nowadays – if I had so little I’d keep quiet about it. Some years back Chitty opened with 8 million in London (now that was an advance) and still didn’t make any money.
    The Coveney response groupies: you’re all ticket agents aren’t you ? Admit it…

  6. Kat says:

    I went to a preview of this having heard the soundtrack and fully expecting it to be bobbins as a result. Well, that told me: it was funny, witty and utterly adorable. The soundtrack made perfect sense in the context of the show – it’s definitely not a standalone album – and yep, Blood in the Water is a great song.

    That boxer probably didn’t eat the little dog because it was too busy sliding across the stage on its bottom during the curtain call – it was when I went, anyway. Sheridan Smith was unbelievably good. Far from being out of touch with the audience, Michael Coveney seems to have seen a different show altogether.

  7. Jay says:

    “I’ve never sat in an audience so unreal or abnormal. Weird couples, clacking hen parties, simpering teenage girls”

    Who do you think you are? Who might these “weird” couples you refer to be? Do elaborate! And is it unnatural that hen parties and groups of teenage girls are going to the theatre? Would you rather they didn’t and instead spent their time on more suitable pastimes where you’re not forced to endure them around you? The diverse and enthusiastic crowds at Legally Blonde are surely a good sign for the state of the audience.

  8. LB says:

    I have to say I am shocked at your “review” clearly they sent a jumped up twit to review Legally Blonde… Legally Blonde is one of the best shows on the West End Stage at the moment, and in economic times like this… at least you leave the theatre with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. Having forgotten any troubles you had when you went in.

    Its fun!!!

    Who should Duncan James be playing? if he is playing the wrong role… personally I think he made a believable Warner, and plays the part perfectly and the chemistry between him and Sheridan Smith (who is perfect as Elle Woods by the way) proves this is casting at its finest. As for the whole teenage girls and hen parties comment… well most ladies on hen weekends take in a show while in London… also Legally Blonde IS perfect for Teenage girls and well lets face it… i’d much rather see Teenage girls going to the theatre at the weekend than getting into trouble.

  9. pinky says:

    Well said LB argee with everything

    Legally Blonde is a amzing fun filled show full of laughs and fun
    and it a show that can get people dancing and smiling
    THE CAST IS BLOODY AMAZING and it is the best thing that hit the
    west end Legally Blonde Rocks
    And your Review is shocking u must be a boring old fart that dont do anything
    enjoy life life to short and Legally Blonde it Fun

  10. Mark says:

    Never thought I would read a review from someone so grumpy and miserable. Obviously you are not representing whatsonstage users as could be heard from the talkback posted on the front page, where the reaction to the show has been so positive.

    I suggest you give up your job and go become a parking ticket office. Perhaps it will give you more pleasure.

  11. James says:

    Relax…I’m 54 and see more musicals/plays/opera during a year here and in New York than is healthy. My preference is for Sondheim, I hate juke box shows, Complicite are my favourite theatre company…but this show was great fun, well done with heart and humour, appealing to a young audience (excellent!) and worth a million of those cheapo touring UK productions of the classic (and not so) shows.
    The cast was as close as you’ll get here to enjoying the commitment and enthusiasm of a Broadway show.

  12. Reddie says:

    Wow, what an overwhelming wave of negativity for a show that is all pink and positive.
    Never agreed much with your reviews Mr Coveney, but this time you really went too far and I can’t help thinking that all your above thought are somehow biased. What happened? Did Sonia Friedman step on your toe before the show started? Has Sheridan Smith not offered you pints of lager and packets of crisps? Did somebody break up with you while a Blue song was playing in the background? Have you got issues with pink and blonde wigs? Wait a minute… maybe I got it: are you just a mere attention seeker who took his chance by bashing a show everybody is loving at the moment?

    And also your misrespecting the paying audience with the awful definitions you used above is unacceptable. If there is something unreal and abnormal is this blog entry.

  13. Ash says:

    So because this is a light, fun and entertaining piece of theatre and not some dark miserable experimental/topical piece it’s just to be cast aside as silly, daft and I suppose ultimately bad? At least it has an original score, it might be new music dressed in pink but it’s still new music, give me this over another Jukebox musical any day. It’s getting a young audience into a theatre (as was Spring Awakening) which is only a good thing. Legally Blonde has a great, accomplished cast, it’s slick,it’s funny and it’s wonderfully put together. I wish them all the success. And it’s a Bull dog not a Boxer!

  14. Andrea says:

    As someone who happily attended last week’s Whatsonstage.com outing, I am quite proud to disagree with Mr. Coveney low-pH rambling piece which he apparently has chosen to share with the masses for lack of anything better to say – or anything better to do with his spare time than inflicting a bad time upon himself?!

    Honestly, I am quite disappointed at Whatsonstage relying on Mr. Coveney’s evidently partial, biased and acidic remarks where it is clear that the show is not just having a terrific response from the audience night after night, but also that the quality of this production is way above average in a West End sadly populated by mysteriously long-running poor works like ‘Grease’ or ‘Dirty Dancing’.

    Sure, the show in question is “just” what it is: a witty, fun and very pink piece of entertainement. Don’t go to the Savoy Theatre if it’s philosophic brain titillation you’re after!
    Yet, if Mr. Coveney had the luck to be familiar with romance languages he’d also be aware that the very ethymologic root of words such as the French “divertissement”, the Italian “divertimento”, the Spanish “divertimiento”, all of which effectively translate “FUN” is to be found in the Latin verb “devertere”… which corresponds pretty much to “to distract”. In this respect, ‘Legally Blonde is an absolute masterpiece, so full it is of energy and positivity you can’t help leaving the theatre feeling good and cheerful!

    At the same time, the show is incredibly well cast! I won’t go into details praising the superb talent of Miss Smith, because she truly is so good she doesn’t need me to “defend” her, her skills speak for themselves. Alex Gaumond is wonderful as Emmet, and no, Duncan James would not be suitable for playing that role, because he’s not good enough an actor to really bring Emmet to life. And I can’t seem him play any other principal role!
    On the contrary, Warner is a little bit more of a caricature, so to speak, and pretty much requires that the actor playing him sing well (and that Duncan James can do with enough proficiency for the role) and look good.
    The rest of the principals and the ensemble do a terrific job, as well… And by the way, the dog playing Rufus is not a boxer, but a bulldog – but yet again, someone who comes up with that sort of piece above and who’s so busy checking the “abnormal” reaction of the audience around him can’t really waste his time picking this sort of details, can he?!

  15. Lin says:

    WOW! What a “review”!

    Are “normal” people not allowed to go to the theatre now? Would you rather go backwards so only the upper class went to the theatre? Well goodbye to 99% of the London theatre then! How DARE you make those kind of assumptions about an audience (THAT PAID!) that joined you for the performance! I do wonder what they made of you actually….

    I, myself, saw the opening preview night and had great fun. I was not on a hen party, part of a weird couple or a simpering teenager.

    I found Sheridan a complete joy, as if the part was written for her. Duncan was a brilliant Warner and sorry, but was he not in Chicago not once but twice? He may have become famous via a boyband but, if you bothered looking at his biography, his background was in acting….

    Are you not just a little peeved that there is an embargo in place and you just wanted to “get in there first”? From reading your “review” that is how it is coming across.

  16. Craig says:

    What a vile piece of writing from some middle aged miserable man
    It was have been horrid for you to sit in an audience with ‘Normal’ people who are enthusisatic about a show.
    The fact you have written a semi review before reviews are even allowed to be published shows what a nasty piece of work you are. LB is a fun night out, some great catchy songs, a very funny book and so positive in an age where positivity is needed. I guess that you are the kind of person who wets themselves for the experimental theatre shows. Well im sorry but giving some of the rubbish thats playing in the West End i think its safe to say that LB is head and shoulders above most shows of its kind.
    You are someone who would like to turn back the clock to the times of South Pacific, King and I etc but times change. LB is a show aimed at a real people who just want to have fun whilst at the same time carrying the sweetes messege of being true to yourself.

    Again though im very sorry that you had to experience such a nightmare with normal people, and way to go insulting your readers

  17. Charle says:

    Call yourself a critic?! You haven’t seen many shows have you?

    This is the best show I’ve seen! It’s funny, uplifting and very well cast. Sheridan does an incredable job! This musical is ment to be very girly, funny, frilly etc so what did you expect the audience to be like!? Sad horrid old farts like yourself!? The audience is part of the show and that is a big part that makes it a success! Find yourself another job, you’re no good at ‘reviews’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Louise says:

    I went to see the show at the end of December and don’t recognise the kind of audience you saw. My friend and I (girls, but well into out twenties now, and certainly not ‘simpering’), were sat next to an elderly couple, and had a group of very ‘well heeled’ ladies and their husbands sitting behind us. Most of the audience were made up of young girls, young couples or mothers and daughters, including a large coach party of American teenage girls, but there was no screaming or ‘silly’ behaviour.

    What exactly is the problem with the majority of the audience being young girls and women? The show is clearly aimed at a young, mostly female crowd. Middle aged men are obviously less likely to love it, although I’m sure lots will still enjoy it. At least these teenagers are keen to go the theatre at all, it makes them more likely to see other things in the future.

    I have no problem with reviewers giving the show healthy criticism, but why not do this from the point of view of the target audience? I hope when you give your full review you attempt to do this. Fair enough if you didn’t enjoy it, but I’m not sure as an older man you were ever meant to.

  19. Bob says:

    I am not surprised what I read from Mr Coveney to be honest,not that he is right far from it, but he is a benchmark of the establishment in London Theatre,critics and many working in it sadly,far too old and blinkered most of them, and in my opinion a bunch of out of date snobs who dont pay a penny to see any shows but seem to revel in hating something they were never going to like anyway as just not there bag which is fair enough, so resign Mr Coveney or perhaps a new career as a tribute Victor Meldrew act!

  20. RC says:

    “Weird Couples” – who are they then Michael? Gay Couples perhaps…? Not your steriotypical man/woman couple? Welcome to the world Mr C!

    Once again proving to be so out of touch its unbelievable. The producers have managed to create hype for a show – something no show has managed to do for a while. The mold has been broken for critics, yes, but move for the times or move out of it.

    I am your sondheim loving gershwin adoring musical fanastic but this show I have ot hand it them. Its cast superly, they have found their audience and appealing to it enormously. What the point in them doing the same old thing – shows are flopping left right and centre because of this new shows do the same old thing with critics and ticket agents (treat them like gods and pander) – times have changed. Letshope all shows, producers and marketers take a note!

  21. SGM says:

    I think Mr. Coveney needs to remember that some musicals are geared towards the younger generation and is not aimed at the type of age and critic that he seems to be. By this I mean, a man who seems happy to go to review a show but writes more about his journey to get to the Theatre, how comfortable his seat is, etc than what he is actually watching.

    It seems that he was determined not to like the show from the outset. mainly, I suspect, because he wasn’t able to get his usual free ticket to the first night where he was surrounded by other like-minded critics but instead by the general public who had genuine interest about the show they were about to see.

    I have met too many critics like him who all too often think they are a better class of person than most that enjoy an evening watching a performance. You can usually spot them skulking about the foyers of a Theatre before & during the interval of a show, looking with distain at the groups of people that seem to be enjoying themselves.

    Maybe, Mr. Coveney realises that his generation of critics are dying out and thinks that the only way he can continue to garner some attention for his pitiful excuses for reviews is by slating everything he sees.

  22. Mark says:

    WOS should be ashamed for allowing someone as bitter and twisted and corruptible as Mr Coveney to represent the only official theatre website in the UK. He is an embarassment to the industry, seemingly well past his sell by date and totally out of touch with audiences today. When was it exactly he was fired by the Mail? He appears to be one angry man who is hanging on for dear life. Roll on the rave for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s next show (whose payroll he seems to be on)! Get yourself a real critic – one who is open to new ideas and isn’t full of bile and invective.

  23. Legally fan says:

    Spotlight have got a great blog in response to this piece – http://blog.show-and-stay.co.uk/2010/01/12/legally-blonde-reviews-mean-nothing/

  24. RC says:

    Well WOS and Really Useful have a long standing relationship (notice how they advertise in RUG Theatres programmes…) so expect a good review. However, not a smash hit show past the inital 6 month hype – why? Because the approah to this marketin and publicity – so far – has been old – nothing inspiring so far about the show has hit us, except its a follow on from the profitable peice of entertainment of all time.

    I’m sure MC will like it and how the marketing and press will pander to there every need. A wonderful seat. A nice special Press pack. Free drinks. Tickets to the Press after party with more free drinks and food.

  25. James says:

    Come on Michael, respond!

  26. Nick Chelton says:

    SGM said:

    “I have met too many critics like him who all too often think they are a better class of person than most that enjoy an evening watching a performance. You can usually spot them skulking about the foyers of a Theatre before & during the interval of a show, looking with distain at the groups of people that seem to be enjoying themselves.”

    I recognise the stereotype that you describe.

    Michael Coveney is not and never has been remotely like that.

  27. lavretsky says:

    It’s curious to find a whole gang of bloggers turn up on this quiet site for the first time. Their significant characteristic is to be bombastic,illiterate – incapable of composing a sentence,punctuating or spelling.

    Where did they come from so suddenly?

    Look like investors to me.

  28. Jamie says:

    So you don’t like Legally Blonde – big deal. Rarely do three people like the same show so why shouldn’t you have a viewpoint.
    No, what disturbs me is the way in which you have taken unimaginative, cynical and spiteful shortcuts to denounce a show. It seems that your objections are based on the audience members who attended on the same night as yourself and the fact that they enjoyed a performance you loathed.
    Is it not your job as a critic to illuminate – for good or bad- why a show works or doesn’t work without stooping to irritated grumblings about how ‘unreal or abnormal’ you find the audience? I learned nothing more from this critique than you were miserable and, frankly, that is of no concern to me unless the theatre is uncomfortably hot or cold. I am concerned, however, about your ability to review future productions for Whatsonstage – or anywhere else for that matter – as it is quite possible that you will meet more people such as those you describe above and I worry about how you might react at the next such encounter -theatrelovers have an uncanny ability to go to the theatre!
    P.S. I am in no way associated with this production nor do I know anyone involved but I do have high standards for theatre criticism and Michael Billington and Lyn Gardner are at the top of that list.

  29. Mark says:

    @lavretsky: I so wish I was an investor… personally I found out about this blog entry thanks to the West End Whingers and their Twitter page. I check regularly on WoS for theatre news and read the discussion forums, but, not usually being very fond of Coveney’s reviews, I have never felt the urge to visit this part of the site before.

    And as for the comments being written by illiterate et al people, well, you were joking, were you?
    By the way, talking about punctuaction it’s comma + space and then word. And what was a hyphen doing all alone and meaningless in the middle of a sentence?

  30. SGM says:

    In reply to Nick Chelton:

    You say that Michael Coveney is nothing like the stereotype I think he is?

    I’m sorry, but as I have read his latest blog, this is the image that came to mind.

    Now I know that not everyone is going to enjoy the same show, and I know that Michael isn’t in the key demographic that the show is trying to reach but I found some of his comments completely uncalled for. To call an audience ‘unreal or abnormal’ purely because it’s not the usual critic-filled audience he is used to just plain rude.

    Maybe they were too excited and enthusiastic for his taste but this is a fun show, if the audience was to just sit there without reacting in someway to what they are watching on stage then I would be concerned.

    In reply to Lavretsky – I am not an investor, and like Mark who has posted above me, I found out about this latest piece via Twitter. I am also a member of WoS but don’t usually bother to read Michael’s blogs, as I don’t find them exciting or informative to read.

  31. Robert says:

    Another nail in the coffin for the Theatre Critic Institution. Give it a couple of years and the role of a critic will redundant. After all, who cares what the real people think.

    You have one point to be made Mr Coveney – you never truly know how much of the audience are there on their own back, and much of it has be engineered. But really, you way of articulating it stinks of snobbery. Yet another reason not to visit WOS.

  32. MARTIN says:

    I am absolutely appalled with the review Michael wrote and am so glad to see there are many (if not all) of us here disagreeing with it.

    Wonderful show and will definitely go and see it again, hopefully I shall be not sitting next to Michael!

    Good luck!

  33. Chris says:

    Rude. Disrespectful. Out of order. I understand you have an opinion and might not like the show (no one is going to like everything!) but making snide comments about the theatre-goers (who, without YOU WOULDN’T HAVE A JOB!) is out of order.

    I hope that WOS recognise how rude, and out of touch you are and can find some new, exciting reviewers. Broadway.com’s audience review panel is great.

    This site by its very nature is for bloggers, so to ask the question “do producers want a healthy critical climate or a hysterical blogosphere?” you are being a hypocrite and adding to that hysterical blogosphere…. surely!?

  34. Pingback: Wherein a Critic Hammers Another Nail In The Coffin. « Blogging By Numbers

  35. Nick Chelton says:

    The general attitude here would seem to suggest that critics are redundant and it would be preferable to rely on the more sincere responses of the audience – now represented in the blogosphere.

    However,critics have not been a consistently negative influence.Many plays and musicals have earned a place in history thanks to the efforts of sometimes isolated critics who have found worth where others didn’t.

    Works like Legally Blonde may be able to gain commercial success as a result of positive blogging but other works may not thrive in that populist climate.

  36. Ken Tynan says:

    Michael is upset because there were no famous people at the show the night he was there, and therefor no names that he can drop in what he laughingly calls his journalism. This man’s ineptitude really knows no bounds.

  37. Holly says:

    Haven’t seen the show but it sure is creating quite a buzz!
    I must say I am a bit of a Musical Theatre snob – as far as I’m concerned WeWillRockYou and Greece can’t die soon enough!!!
    And yet…I find myself really wanting to go and see Legally Blonde…
    Ofcourse it’s not as legitimate as shows such as Spring Awakening, Wicked or Avenue Q, but somehow the idea of it seems to have melted away my snobbishness and I am eager to go!

    It seems that this article has caused a bit of a stir, but the funny thing is, adverse to your clear desires, I would say you have strengthened support for the show rather than weakening its validity,
    Bravo

  38. Adam Brace says:

    I have no opinion on this topic.

  39. Adam Brace says:

    Although, interestingly, I did once have breakfast in the Savoy. Eggs.

  40. Adam Brace says:

    Just to clarify, I hadn’t stayed in the hotel prior to the breakfast.

    I’m almost certain that would have been too expensive.

  41. Pingback: Legally Blonde Reviews Mean Nothing | London Theatre Breaks | Show and Stay Magazine

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