Eurovision hits a few wrong notes
Some sort of minor rejoicing seems to have broken out over Jade Ewen coming fifth in the Eurovision Song Contest with Andrew Lloyd Webber’s song “It’s My Time.”
This is like the England soccer team claiming to have done brilliantly by reaching the quarter finals of a World or European Cup. It’s a bit sad, really, especially as Lloyd Webber was a brand name international artist and almost everyone else wasn’t.
The one thing we always did have at Eurovision was Terry Wogan’s witty, resigned but always informed commentary.
This year we had Graham Norton, who had never heard of the great French singer Patricia Kaas, and said so, and mixed his halting repertoire of cracks and sneers with plain bad judgement: obviously the Estonian song, which sent him to sleep, he said, was one of the best.
I didn’t think Jade sang her song — by no means a classic — all that well, either. Her voice, unlovely to start with, showed the strain and wobbled a lot, and whatever stage routine Arlene Phillips had devised for her was decimated by the zapping camera work.
In such a rising tide of incongruous mediocrity one can only regret that ALW didn’t come up with something to equal the best of his pop songs — “No Matter What” in Whistle Down the Wind, or “Next Time I Fall in Love” in Starlight, or even “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” in JC Superstar — and settled instead for the bland hysteria of an all-purpose Euro power ballad.
It was no better, really, than the Maltese entry, which I preferred, along with the mad Swedish operatic item, the Estonian song and the engagingly performed Spanish extravaganza. The classiest entry, as it happens, was the French effort sung by the aforementioned, luminous Kaas, a real star who puts Jade in the shade.
I suggest that when Graham next pops over to Paris he bones up on a few of her best-selling CDs.
The Norwegian rubbish which won by a mile was hideous beyond endurance and at least I agreed with Graham on the point of wanting to slap the boy violinist’s face who shoved it down our throats; but I don’t think he should have said that on air, either.
I think the whole project to try and make the Eurovision Song Contest “respectable” or somehow “more serious” was misguided, anyway. It’s not respectable, and it’s not serious, and no one who enjoys it really wants it to change, apart from Andrew.
And even if he’d come up with something better than “It’s My Time” — and I sincerely hope he has, or does — for the Phantom sequel, I don’t want him to win the Eurovision Song Contest. I want him to write one or two more great musicals.
As for Eurovision itself, it’s looking a bit tired to me.
Even the Ukrainian number with a wild harpy in bondage gear and a troupe of male gladiators in silver mini-skirts wasn’t all that funny, and a German item with Dita Von Teese doing nothing to justify the fact that she was taking part was a total write-off.
And what about the scandals? The Georgian song was banned because it was deemed politically subversive, and in Moscow itself the police got heavy-handed with a gay pride march and our own Peter Tatchell. Does no-one care about this? Will Andrew raise these issues when he has his next cosy vote-catching chat with Mr Putin?
The biggest mystery of all is, in fact, the voting. Television viewers can now vote for anyone but their own country — who would want to, I wonder? — and then the old jury system operates anyway with points allocated in far-flung television studios. By who, exactly?
It may not be fixed, but it’s certainly not transparent. And now I think about it, Jade was not even one of the original contestants on the BBC talent show to find a Eurovision singer, but was bussed in at the end of the first programme as a safety measure when clearly nobody else was much cop.
ALW thinks she’ll be a huge star in a few years’ time. He’s said that about a couple of people we’ve never heard of since, and I’m not sure about Jade. After all, we’re still all waiting to be totally convinced by Connie Fisher…
I look forward to mulling over these weighty matters more fully in the next few days when three esteemed colleagues, and dedicated Eurovision fans, return from Moscow, if they’ve not been thrown into prison: critics Mark Cook and Karen Fricker, and RSC Press agent Dean Asker, all of whom have more than enough experience between them to put the world to rights, Eurovision Song Contest wise. I think they should be signed up on the steering committee immediately.
May 17th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Were we watching the same contest? Jade was great, Graham was great. If you don’t like it don’t watch it! Stop being so bitter!
May 17th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Has the writer of this ever watched Eurovision before? don’t think so.. so stick to what you know dearie.
May 17th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
a clearly bitter respose to what has been regarded as the highest standard Eurovision in quite some time. To begin, Ewen’s performance was clearly not mediocre, otherwise the UK would not have placed fifth, this backed up by the new voting system to reduce the effects of political voting. I myself am not a big fan of the song, nor Jade’s voice, but to describe her as mediocre is unfair. And although Patricia Kaas’ performance was outstanding, it was entirely unoriginal, and the half-attempt at what seemed to be a dance routine towards the end ruined the number. And with regaurds to the winner, although his performance was slightly dodgy, it is after all a -song- contest, and the fact is that his song was catchy, and clearly popular due to the fact he won.
I do agree with some issues raised, namely those of the scandals regarding gay rights and the Georgia entry.
But, although you may miss Terry Wogan’s stuffy old attempt at humor,the vast majority of people were pleased with Norton’s sarcastic, albeit sometimes misinformed humour.
Eurovision is a contest about new songs,new talent and new music, and this article is clearly very old fashioned, stuffy and backwards in its opinions.
Sorry to inform you, but it isn’t the 70’s any longer.
May 18th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Adding the jury can only do so much. Apparenlty the jury cast their votes based on the second dress rehearsal already so that part was already “known” before the final even started. Also, watching from the Netherlands, the Dutch commentrs dropped this bit of information when Turkey got 10 points from Netherlands (paraphrasing): “and the Dutch jury gave Turkey no points” - if that is the result of adding the jury for 50% then SOMETHING is off.
As for Jade, it annoys me when native speakers don’t enunciate. I can forgive a non-native speaker for pronounciation and syntax mistakes but if “aritistic interpretation” makes the word “what” sound like “wohareaeout” then… well… Moderation definitely wasn’t the case this year
May 18th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
I agree with 2 points - the jury’s input needs to be clearer - it would be interesting to know how their votes went; and yes, Lloyd Webber should be concentrating on writing musicals or ’straight’ music (e.g. Variations, Requiem etc.), not silly pop songs.
May 19th, 2009 at 9:01 am
I don’t know why people are claiming it’s been a huge success (”the highest standard Eurovision in quite some time” is only damning with faint praise realtive to its own mediocrity), it was the usual Baltic/Balkan carve up because most of the competitors ARE Balkan or Baltic, and the songs were crap, but they always have been. Does anyone ever tune in through an interest in the quality and artistry of contemporary European song? Thought not.
May 19th, 2009 at 11:29 am
The new voting procedure (50% televoting in each country and 50% from a 5 person professional jury in each country) has made a difference. Norway, Iceland and UK are all in the Top 5 (when was the last time 3 Western countries were in the Top 5?), and countries that would probably have done better if it had been purely down to televotes (Greece/Ukraine for example) have dropped down the scoreboard, because, it seems, the juries are voting for good songs, not elaborate stage presentations. I think we will see countries entering better songs next year, relying less on stageprops/acrobatics/tricks.
The Norwegian song is great - and is going to be a massive hit across Europe; it’s No3 here in the UK’s download charts. And Iceland’s runner-up is pure class. And, good for France - they sent one of their biggest stars, and came Top 10 for the first time since 2002.
The UK should be applauded for trying harder than they have done for a long time. The UK entry was good (although not brilliant) and was well-performed, I thought. Jade promoted the song heavily around a number of European countries and the attitude of the UK this year was much more positive. and it’s paid off. Jade was a great ambassador for the UK, and all the foreign delegates were impressed with the UK’s new approach to the Contest.
5th is an achievement to be proud of, considering how badly we have done since 2003 - between 2003-2008 we came 26th (last), 16th, 22nd, 19th, 22nd and 25th (last). We now have something to work from - next year we need to put in the same effort, and an even better song.
This year’s Eurovision is a turning point. Over the past few years the idea of the UK winning the Contest looked impossible. But the juries have restored some balance to the competition, and it may not be that long before we see le Royaume Uni once again hosting the greatest entertainment programme in the world! Bring it on.
May 19th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
I actually agree with a lot of Michael Coveney’s comments. The UK number was just another wanna be X Factor single, with no real melody and a lot of quasi Mariah Carey warbling from Jade (when are we going to get over being impressed by people singing in that irritating and affected fashion?) - and he’s right - she was off-key several times. It wasn’t a great performance and I think we actually did far better than we deserved to.
Other than that it was pretty much business as usual, some dreadful songs, some not so bad ones. We had a thoroughly entertaining evening watching it all unfold.
And for anyone who didn’t sit through the semi-finals, you missed a treat: Bulgaria’s entry was absolutely wonderful: for all the wrong reasons!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiK15FpW-BI