I sometimes feel we’re not good enough to go into the best of the West End theatres. Wyndham’s, where Twelfth Night has opened to deserved acclaim, is a case in point. This beautiful 1899 theatre by W G R Sprague has been lovingly redecorated by Cameron Mackintosh, yet the central aisle in the stalls last night resembled a London Transport cloakroom.
A mound of old tut, bits of paper and grimy clothing accumulated around the feet of several critics. Punters squashed into bars and corridors that were simply not built to accommodate them. People are becoming so fat — though not yet as fat as they are in New York — that they can hardly manouevre themselves into their rows, let alone sit comfortably in their seats.
There was always something penitential — and therefore good for the soul — about going to the theatre. Standing all afternoon in the cockpit at the Globe can’t have been much fun unless you really wanted to be there. And the stone benches at Epidaurus are quite an ordeal today, let alone four centuries ago.
But I think you have to match your deportment to your circumstances. Blankets and weatherproofs are a good idea in Regent’s Park. The Bush demands jeans and sensible shoes. And I think the Wyndham’s, like the Haymarket, merits a bit of sartorial respect from its visitors, not just because the building and the interiors are so grand and beautiful, but because scruffiness just looks rude.
I don’t care if you’re a critic or a paying customer, if you turn up at Wyndham’s looking like a busker or a down-and-out, then you should be refused admittance and asked to come back another night more suitably attired. That should clear a few seats, especially on the aisles.
Another odd thing about last night was a request from the Press officer as to whether or not I required her to bring me a drink to my seat in the interval, so I didn’t have to endure the bar stampede and could collect my thoughts in calm and serenity.
I asked back if this offer could be extended to include a tray of smoked salmon sandwiches with a side salad of chopped cucumbers, but I think she was drawing the line at a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.
Of course in the old days you could have a tea tray at the Haymarket during the interval of the mid-week matinee, a wonderful tradition that I’m sorry to say went the way of the national anthem some years ago.
At the time, I was hanging from the straps in the gallery, squinting jealously at the ladies in fur coats who were surveying their comestibles through lorgnettes. The most I aspired to was an ice-cream or a Kiaora orange drink.
But the idea of a Press officer scrambling around to bring cardboard cups and plastic glasses into the hallowed stalls of Wyndham’s strikes me as very nearly obscene.
Before the show I went for a drink in the circle bar, one of the most beautiful rooms in the whole of London’s theatreland. I was served coffee in a china cup and offered a seasonal minced pie, which was cold but moderately edible.
This was a perfect interlude before shoving myself uncomfortably down the crowded staircase into the first night hurlyburly and the aid relief clothing dump that was suddenly forming in the middle of the stalls.
Dear Michael
I really enjoyed your lovely ‘rant’ about dressing for the theatre, or rather, dressing appropriately for the theatre one is attending. Wyndham’s is glorious as is the Haymarket. And it is a shame not to afford these Grand Dames of Theatreland the respect and decorum they deserve in terms of dressing. And oh, wouldn’t I just love to wear a fur, shameful as that might sound.
I very much enjoyed your obit/tribute to Gerry Schoenfeld the other week; it is very nearly the end of an era.
Yours Ann
And how were your fellow critics dressed? Or were you referring to them?! Press officers will do anything for a good review – surprised she didn’t mince in with a pie! Is a minced pie like an advanced warning – a very popular sign in of course only intelligent residential areas!
Pingback: 1896 morgan silver dollar
Pingback: Precious Metals Buyers Rochester NY
Pingback: Bed Bath and Beyond Printable Coupons - Things know about Look Out For
Pingback: Fredon Township Scholarships For Minorities
Pingback: Scholarships For Minorities New Jersey
Pingback: carl ken
Pingback: Abortion Methods
Pingback: baltimore
Pingback: hud reverse mortgage
Pingback: ventilation basement
Pingback: adult social network
Pingback: Great Clips Coupons Virginia
Pingback: Thrustmaster Warthog
Pingback: Property Management Sacramento
Pingback: 1899 silver dollar value
Pingback: increase your vertical leap
Pingback: What Are Great Clips Coupons?
Pingback: The Advantages of Great Clips Coupons Coupons
Pingback: dating advice
Pingback: Gabste9
Pingback: average cost of rhinoplasty
Pingback: Get exclusive offers from Great Clips Couponss
Pingback: the jump manual
Pingback: The Easy Way To Start Using Swiffer Coupons
Pingback: Extreme Coupons when Acquiring Swiffer Coupons
Pingback: Social Fan Exchange
Pingback: Cisco Router
Pingback: e-tupakka
Pingback: http://exchange.ultimateseo.org/
Pingback: site
Pingback: Sell Cisco
Pingback: Sell Cisco
Pingback: Personal Trainer Tucson
Pingback: Sell Cisco
Pingback: effects of nitric oxide supplements
Pingback: face wash for oily skin
Pingback: Sell Cisco
Pingback: http://www.hachoiraviande.fr/
Pingback: Your Family Can Save Big With Printable Swiffer coupons
Pingback: Printable Swiffer coupons - The Way to Go
Pingback: skinception stretch mark therapy
Pingback: phone detective review
Pingback: Scrapebox Service
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: Jimmy Choo Heels
Pingback: escort Roma
Pingback: Flash Card Machine
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: online grammar checker
Pingback: Romney 2012 Candidate
Pingback: best whey protein powder for women
Pingback: unlock iphone 3gs software
Pingback: iphone4unlocknews.com
Pingback: iphone unlock
Pingback: get television on computer
Pingback: benefits of a gluten free diet
Pingback: criminal lawyers
Pingback: fashion
Pingback: tablette graphique
Pingback: Scrapebox
Pingback: casque audio sans fil pour tv
Pingback: criminal lawyers in Fort Myers
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: Spanish language software
Pingback: SEO Marketing Services
Pingback: how to make your boobs bigger without surgery
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: montre gps running
Pingback: Acupuncture
Pingback: Laurent
Pingback: clickbank scam
Pingback: Buy Cisco
Pingback: Iris
Pingback: http://www.trampolineavecfilet.fr/
Pingback: climatiseur mobile
Pingback: Social bookmarking sites list
Pingback: PNC Online Banking
Pingback: epilateur electrique
Pingback: casque sans fil philips
Pingback: hotel w poznaniu
Pingback: Bodybuilding Diet Plan For Men
Pingback: Albertsons double coupons
Pingback: http://www.ganhar-dinheiro-online.net/stiforp-profits/a-empresa/
Pingback: Home Interior Painting Tips
Pingback: acnezine bad acne
Pingback: womens white ceramic watches
Pingback: Fotel XXL
Pingback: bahamas charter flights
Pingback: AV installation Las Vegas
Pingback: great runners
Pingback: Fresh E-books
Pingback: youtube to kindle fire
Pingback: certified nursing assistant jobs
Pingback: get a credit card with bad credit
Pingback: ghost recon future soldier forum
Pingback: how to get rid of acne at home
Pingback: chaseonlinebanking
Pingback: chase bank
Pingback: plus size clothing patterns
Pingback: solar panels information
Pingback: http://www.purehoodia.com
Pingback: Creation site internet
Pingback: Jane
Pingback: Scrapebox
Pingback: Leading Brands Publishing
Pingback: Check this out!
Pingback: jakett new york
Pingback: Kick-Off
Pingback: mobile websites for real estate
Pingback: Mac Rip DVD to iPhone
Pingback: How To Make Money Online
Pingback: Miami drunk driving defense lawyer
Pingback: postcard printing online uk
Pingback: Free RPG Games
Pingback: sears card
Pingback: Comment Ca Marche
Pingback: Conseil Agadir Maroc
Pingback: www.spellcheckonline.com
Pingback: best dui attorneys San Diego
Pingback: Best Hot Tub Cover
Pingback: hotels in niagara falls
Pingback: Immobilien Graubuenden
Pingback: http://www.onlineinvestmentfund.com/page_custom.php?page=career
Pingback: flyttefirma
Pingback: cell phone towers
Pingback: la
Pingback: Maclaren Techno XT Stroller
Pingback: game
Pingback: nursing schools in texas
Pingback: Skirted lures
Pingback: Sejfy
Pingback: Cell Phones Spartphones GSM PDA
Pingback: Best Los Angeles accident attorney
Pingback: http://www.valiumonline.biz
Pingback: tower manufacturing
Pingback: marketing
Pingback: swimming pool contractors
Pingback: Click!
Pingback: http://www.camescopehd.net/
Pingback: Cheap Silver Coins
Pingback: Best Gold Buyer
Pingback: scott greenlaw bank america
Pingback: no no hair removal
Pingback: no no hair removal reviews
Pingback: Site
Pingback: http://www.funandsafedriving.com/mapquest-driving-directions.html
Pingback: human anatomy books
Pingback: http://www.rasoirelectrique.org/
Pingback: My Blog
Pingback: mini lave vaisselle 6 couverts
Pingback: friteuse sans huile seb actifry
Pingback: jcpenney coupons 10 off 10
Pingback: http://www.disquedurinterne.net/
Pingback: weblando seo
Pingback: jcpenney coupons february 2012
Pingback: click here
Pingback: piscine autoportante pas cher
Pingback: My Blog