Time for the last play of the day, H5, which started slightly late. When Forbes Masson stepped onto the stage everyone expected him to give us the customary caution of switching off mobiles and the like, but I guess they had decided that since this would be the fourth play in the last 24 hours for us all we probably knew the rules, and so had decided to just get on with the play. So instead of the caution, we got “Oh, for a muse of fire”, which caused a big laugh as it was so unexpected. By this point in the cycle, everyone’s almost giddy with excitement and the rush of just being here, being part of this moment.

The atmosphere is strange, there’s an air of tangible excitement, as we experience what few have been through so far, and people are getting increasingly friendly and chatty; we’re no longer absolute strangers, we’re fellow voyagers on this journey of discovery. It seems like most people are here for the whole cycle, and many have seen these productions before, though never quite like this. (spoilers coming up)

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By 3 pm everyone had rushed back for the start of the third play of the cycle, the second of the day, and we continued with 2H4. I must say that David Warner’s Falstaff is growing on me, I really liked his performance in this one, which is fortunate considering that this is pretty much Falstaff’s play. It’s more of an ensemble piece than 1H4, and it turned into a real opportunity for the supporting players to shine, and did they ever! One brilliant performance after another, as the play allowed them the chance to step into focus for the audience.

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The beginning of day two of the Histories cycle, and everyone was still looking bright-eyed as we turned up for 1H4, kicking off this long day at 10.30 am. This production left a mixed impression, and I’m genuinely wondering why it didn’t quite gel when it had so many of the right elements, but perhaps it was unavoidable that things should return to earth after the soaring heights of R2 last night. It started promising enough, with Clive Wood on strong form as H4, and with Lex Shrapnel’s Hotspur every bit as good as I had hoped after seeing how he played him in R2. You have no problem understanding H4’s wish that this should have been his son, instead of the deadbeat carouser of an heir that he’s stuck with.

But after this excellent beginning things soon started to go downhill, and the end result is an uneven mix of some very good performances, a number of odd interpretational choices and a production that seems curiously lacking in gravity. It isn’t bad, far from it, it’s actually rather good, it’s just not very interesting, which is strange considering the material that they’re working with. (spoilers coming up)

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The news that Lord of the Rings is being “forced” to makes way for Oliver! at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, in the summer would only be distressing if a) Lord of the Rings was doing boffo business or b)Lord of the Rings was any good.

As it fits neither of these criteria, one can only sympathise with the theatre owners who have to keep the doors open somehow and although it’s a bit soon for another Oliver! one can think of worse musicals to look forward to. But come on, Really Useful, how about an Ivor Novello, or a new look at The Desert Song, or even a brand new Gypsy starring Kim Criswell?

My old friend Baz Bamigboye is continuing his campaign of querying the justness of the BBC collaborating for a third time, after the Maria and Joseph shows, with Andrew Lloyd Webber on his casting of Oliver and Nancy in this weekend’s new series, I’d Do Anything.

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Thursday evening, and a flying start to the Histories cycle. There was a palpable buzz at the Courtyard Theatre even before the play started, with people milling about, live music in the circle bar, and all sorts of accents being heard as people gathered for the first performance of the cycle. Ah, a whole theatre full of likeminded people, I felt right at home.

It was nice to start off this massive Histories marathon gently with just the one play this evening, R2, a production that I’d already seen and enjoyed tremendously, so I pretty much knew what to expect. It’s always interesting to return for a second viewing of really good productions, as that gives you a chance to take a closer look at the things that might have slipped under your radar the first time, and this was no exception. (beware spoilers coming up)

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With the BBC declaring that it would it would be too stressful for the child performers to be voted off; you cannot help but think the producers have someone in mind for the role already. This way, none of the plans can be scuppered. Ok, so Nancy gets picked by viewers at home. But the boy who plays Oliver is going to be like a ‘Liam’ from Billy Elliot, in terms of box office.

So, is this a cynical ploy to make us ask for more? Or, is this in the best interests of the children? Well, presumably - any child who auditioned would have had it explained that this was a reality television show; therefore, they expect the flack. What’s more, think of how the viewing figures would go through the roof if ‘pushy parents’ were sat sobbing or arguing each time their ‘mini me’ got voted off or criticised?!! Not only that, which is more damaging - being voted off by judges or the public?

It always makes me smile when the producers of a reality show suddenly develop a conscience. The contestants know what they are letting themselves in for, as do the parents and the viewers. I say, bring on the ankle biters and let the public decide!

With the new reality show I’d Do Anything about to begin on BBC One, I am going to be blogging away to my heart’s content, reporting on the good, the gruel and the runners and riders. You all know the format and many of you will know the judges; John (how busy is this man?!) Barrowman, Denise Van Outen, and Barry Humphries. Unique, this time, as these three bring the performer’s perspective.

I am sure that the press will leak some of the front runners’ names before the live shows begin. But until then, here’s how the show could evolve over the next few weeks:

There will be people crying stating how life changing this is!

Denise will then cry!

John will flirt! (with both genders!)

Graham will stick with the underdog each week.

There will be a corny catchphrase applied to a contestant: “From Wigan to the West End!”

A villian will emerge and will be despatched by the viewers.

One contestant will have nine lives.

We will all be hooked!

Whatever happens, we will be there every Saturday to report back, right here.

So, get comfy, get some “food glorious food” in for Saturday and come back here each week for the lowdown.

It’s nearly time for the much anticipated RSC chronological Histories cycle. I left my cat in my mother’s care yesterday, where the little beast is probably being spoilt rotten on filleted cod and peeled shrimps, and set off for Stratford. It’s good to be back here, even if it’s always a bit of a shock to the system getting adjusted to how small and quiet this place is. I remember a visit back in January of last year, where the whole town centre seemed to be absolutely deserted at around 16.30 on a Saturday afternoon. That was a very strange sensation for a city girl like me, to be somewhere that actually closes down completely, and so early at that, and it felt a bit like walking round the set of some post-apocalyptic disaster movie where not a living soul was to be seen, eerie, and a bit unnerving. Still, this little town has its charm.

The cycle kicks off tomorrow with R2, which is the only production of the eight that I’ve already seen. I had intended not to see any of them before the full cycle, in order not to spoil the surprise of how they are staged, but I caved in back in January after hearing one favourable opinion after another about this production of R2, and I’m very glad that I did, as it means that I will get to enjoy it twice and not just once. I awarded it a full five stars back then, which is something that no other production (Shakespeare or otherwise) has earned from me in the last five years, so tomorrow evening should certainly be good, and the cycle will start on a high note.

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Admittedly it’s a tiny amount, barely a tip by his standards, but the news that Cameron Mackintosh has contributed £10,000 towards Boris Johnson’s campaign to become Mayor of London is surely significant. For Cameron knows that Ken Livingstone has done nothing whatsoever for the West End theatre.

Late night transport for theatregoers is a shambles. Parking costs and conditions are criminal; if you want to leave a car, for instance, near the Aldwych or the Novello, it costs 40p for each five minutes up to 6.30pm, Saturdays included!

The congestion charges have kept many theatregoers out of the West End altogether. And Ken is more interested in clowns on stilts and token gestures of multiculturalism than he is in the “bourgeois” customers of Cameron and his colleagues. 

Talking of clowns, though, will Boris be better for London theatre? He’s more likely to listen, perhaps. But who’s going to do the complaining? I haven’t  heard Rosemary Squire OBE (Other Buggers Efforts), president of the Society of London Theatres,  berate Ken for his punitive and unhelpful non-policies.

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The sad dwindling of the Greenwich Theatre from a producing house you really wanted to visit to a receiving venue you’d go out of your way to avoid  was given a short reprieve in my estimation on Friday night when a touring production of The Hired Man by Melvyn Bragg and Howard Goodall came to call.

The show was ecstatically received by a nearly full house of good local folk who comprise an audience far in excess of the theatre’s deserving. There is no front of house reception to speak of. The bar area has been transformed into a soulless, student-style refectory with hideous canned music and horrid furniture. Drinks at the bar come in plastic beakers.

I met a friend half an hour before curtain up and he took one quick look and said he’d rather die than stay here. Instead of death we chose the marginally preferable Cafe Rouge over the road. I’m not at all sure that we followed the right option.

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