I’d Do Anything began yesterday and the tried and tested format remains. Maybe it’s me, but the cliches of the format seem more evident than ever before.

Andrew Lloyd Webber keepers feferring to the ‘Nancy’ that he wants for the show. He mentions that Amy Winehouse would be perfect for the part. You smile to yourself as when looking for Joseph he said he wanted a “Justin Timberlake!” Hardly Lee Mead, is it? This makes the search seem much more frantic and unique, which of course it isn’t, in either case.

Instead, the usual stereotypes are lined up like tin cans in a shooting gallery. Jennifer, the scouse girl with a heart of gold has plenty of ill relatives and serves fries at Burger King. Like Keith Jack though, she is a student but this is not ‘rags to riches’ enough. She even comes up with her own corny catchphrase: “From waitress to West End star!” (see prediction in 1st post!).

Cut to lots of precious looking boys, straight from stage school; all desperate to utter the line: “Please sir. Can I have some more?” Each is one trying desperately to out-do the other, even at a young age: one says “I was a munchkin in The Wizard Of Oz.” The other says: “I write plays and musicals.” Graham Norton has a field day, poking fun at these (”I want this so bad”) contestants.

Next up is another Nancy who has suffered for her art; Nan and Grandad have died and she has an aunt who is ill. This is more ZZZZ Factor than X Factor.

But Lloyd Webber continues to state that he is looking for “raw talent” for Nancy and a “tough” Oliver. Like anyone with an ASBO is going to queue up outside?!! You know that the rougher they are; the less likely they are to get over the first hurdle, so why does he pretend?

Next we get the ‘Single (”I’m Doing it for the kids!”) Mum’ who keeps crying and running towards her son, for praise. Endless clips of girls begging to be given “one more chance” follow. One contestant who is bound to be popular with viewers is the ‘namesake.’ This poor mite is saddled with the ‘heart-ache’ narrative strand to pluck the heart strings. She is doing the show for her dad, who died when she was small.

But there is a flaw in this story; she is portrayed as this Cockney sparrow, as if she has just walked into the audition, literally off the streets. But some of you will recognise her; yes, she is the spitting image of villain, Grace from Big Brother. But think again, as I never forget a face. Yep, she played the female lead, Chloe in the awful Take That tribute show- Never Forget. This is musical star Nancy Sullivan. But from touring show to West End is not quite “From drudgery to Dury Lane” - is it?

The judges’ roles are primarily to wipe tears and say the immortal line: “You’re not Nancy.” In future weeks we can look forward to John Barrowman and Denise Van Outen’s opinions. At the moment - they just pay lip service the the Lord’s vision. The idea of casting two roles at the same time, with the public being in on one and not the other jars slightly. In terms of the format, the auditions are always more boring than the live shows, themselves. We only get the Seamus and Simona diva moments, once we watch them sing for their supper!

Lloyd Webber says he is looking for something unique and raw, whereas in reality he is clearly looking for more of the same. With the theatre venue announced and booking opening soon, this Oliver! looks set to be the same as the all the rest, if this opening episode is anything to go by.

I’d Do Anything returns next week at the earlier time of 7.05.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 16th, 2008 at 7:50 am and is filed under I'd Do Anything. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.