I’d Do Anything, for you WOS anything
With the new reality show I’d Do Anything about to begin on BBC One, I am going to be blogging away to my heart’s content, reporting on the good, the gruel and the runners and riders. You all know the format and many of you will know the judges; John (how busy is this man?!) Barrowman, Denise Van Outen, and Barry Humphries. Unique, this time, as these three bring the performer’s perspective.
I am sure that the press will leak some of the front runners’ names before the live shows begin. But until then, here’s how the show could evolve over the next few weeks:
There will be people crying stating how life changing this is!
Denise will then cry!
John will flirt! (with both genders!)
Graham will stick with the underdog each week.
There will be a corny catchphrase applied to a contestant: “From Wigan to the West End!”
A villian will emerge and will be despatched by the viewers.
One contestant will have nine lives.
We will all be hooked!
Whatever happens, we will be there every Saturday to report back, right here.
So, get comfy, get some “food glorious food” in for Saturday and come back here each week for the lowdown.
March 18th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
John Barrowman flirting,I hope so,the guy is just so funny.
What I want to know is,is he going to dress up and show the girls how a real Nancy does it.Hey,I’m not saying anything John hasn’t already said himself!
March 18th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Is the Lord so hard up he has to use TV licence payers money to advertise & promote a worn out show? Wake up! All you are doing is putting money in the Lord’s pocket and doing trained actors out of a job. The BeeB is saving his production company millions for tacky TV.
March 29th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
does anyone know what song the Nancy finalists sung for Andrew and co at his home. It was the song that the three girls sang when they were recalled. it’s driving me mad because i can’t remember it
March 31st, 2008 at 9:09 am
The girls opened the results the show with a corny version of I’d Do Anything which resembled an episode of Seaside Special, it was that dated!
We then see a montage of yesterday’s performances and still, Rachel stands out as a clear winner for me. They are then sent on a Nancy mission!
Not quite the mission you might expect, nor that impossible, really.
They had to prove how working class they could be as the show is about an old cockney sparra, don’t cha know! So, the girls have to mix with locals and work on an East End market stall. Quite cruel really as you might imagine some of their V.T’s highlighting that this is where they might end up if we don’t vote for them!
Cut to Andrew eating jellied eels and John Barrowman laughing uncontrollably. (more…)
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Nancy Live - Week One
Sunday, March 30th, 2008
So, the live shows have begun and Nancy is in the studio, somewhere. But who is best for the role? And who should be buying a train ticket home? Well, they sang their hearts out; some of them looked desperate, grinning inanely at the camera like demented hyenas, whilst others delivered spot- on performances. There were a few dark horses too which is always good telly for week one.
As for the Olivers; is it me or is this aspect of the show just not interesting? The public have no part in the decision making process and whatever you think about that choice; the bottom line is – their ‘journey’ is a boring one, as a result.
Anyway, onto the Nancys (Insert Graham Norton snigger here!) and how they fared:
First up was Irish Philly Jessie singing Tina Turner’s classic belter River Deep, Mountain High and although the vocals were okay, her performance was quite affected and she seemed really nervous. She will get better if she stays; although now the show is live, she looks ill at ease.
Jodie chose Adele’s Chasing Pavements to showcase her voice. The problem is you cannot take ‘Blackpool out of the girl ‘and the result was a Cabaret version of a contemporary song; complete with lots of over emoting and over-done hand movements. Her eyes were chasing unruly punters in a pub, rather than pavements. (more…)
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Fagin cast and Ginger Nancy scared of mayonaise!
Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
News has just been broken that Rowan Atkinson has been cast as Fagin in Oliver! which I’m sure will make the show an even bigger draw than it already is. But what of the Nancys? Any news on them? Here are some snippets I have picked up the last couple of days, trawling through the mags and tabloids:
Ashley (Ginger Nancy) is frightened of mayonaise!
Jessie (Irish Nancy) plays four instruments!
Cleo (Scary Nancy) only eats raw food!
Tara (pierced Nancy) is the daughter of Giant Haystacks (the wrestler) (more…)
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Let the voting begin!
Monday, March 24th, 2008
I don’t know about you, but once the live shows start next week, I get more into the whole concept. Sure, some of the V.T continues to manipulate, as do some of the song choices, deliberately designed to send someone into the bottom two. But, on the whole, it makes for a much more interesting show when you see the contestants perform on a Saturday night, in front of millions.
I have to admit, the line-up of would-be Nancys is far better than I expected. Francesca, who I mentioned in the last blog entry is clearly a favourite. But, I like the sheer variety this year, in terms of look and vocal ability and style. It’s too early to pin-point a clear favourite at this stage but I do like the following for many different reasons:
Jessie- as she has a real earthy quality and knows how to emote through song.
Niamh- she looks like she wants it, without the cockiness that many of these shows unleash.
Cleopatra- she could be the ‘Seamus’ as she looks like she wants it so bad, she would provide V.F.M as the stock villain. (more…)
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Nancy kissed DVO shock!
Thursday, March 20th, 2008
Many users of the I’d Do Anything thread, here on the board have commented on some of the ‘unknowns’ who have been featured, auditioning for the the part of Nancy. But finally, a newspaper has gotten hold of the fact that contestant and hot favourite; Francesca Johnson co-starred with Judge, Denise Van Outen in the ill- fated revival of Rent.
The tabloids have leapt on the fact that the two played lovers in the show, going for the ‘phwoar’ factor. But, it leads me to ask a bigger question: why do the producers audition folk if they already have others in mind? This idea that the star is plucked from the streets was disproven when Lee Mead won Joseph. The Lord tried playing it down, saying that he hadn’t really noticed him. The fact that he was an understudy in his productions, aparrently meant nothing.
I have nothing against the pros getting the parts. But axe the reality aspect then and stop pretending that it’s going to be ‘from window cleaner to West End’, as it clearly isn’t. If this show was X Factor, more people would comment on this. There is this feeling that because the show is about finding theatre stars, that it is much less about ratings and shock tactics. But how different is this show from anything Simon Cowell is fronting?
But, what’s next? Sally Ann Triplett pretending she does not know John Barrowman, as she auditions. That really would be a case of Anything Goes!
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Please Sir, Can I Sell Some More!
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
You gotta feel for ‘The Lord’ - as he has just sat on Paul O’Grady’s couch to plug I’d Do Anything and witnessed something quite frightful. O’Grady sang That’s your Funeral from Oliver! as the Lord himself sat there, visibily cringing! Years gone by, he’d have guested on Saturday Superstore, pulled a postcard from a spinning tombola tub and then, home James!
To make matters even worse, he then had to listen to Sean Maguire - the star of the awful film Meet The Spartans playing catch up with old showbiz pal, Paul. I loved the shots of Lloyd Webber looking bored and disinterested and look forward to seeing them in the live shows, when a Nancy sings for her supper in the sing offs.
But today, he had to sit through this ‘audition’ of sorts as Paul O Grady killed a song from Oliver!; it was his funeral alright! The Lord also gave the obligatory interview and made the usual - “We are looking for a raw Nancy who……” comments. He also said: “We’re not going for bland casting, this time.” Connie Fisher, it isn’t then!
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Andrew wants Winehouse at Nancy School
Sunday, March 16th, 2008
I’d Do Anything began yesterday and the tried and tested format remains. Maybe it’s me, but the cliches of the format seem more evident than ever before.
Andrew Lloyd Webber keepers feferring to the ‘Nancy’ that he wants for the show. He mentions that Amy Winehouse would be perfect for the part. You smile to yourself as when looking for Joseph he said he wanted a “Justin Timberlake!” Hardly Lee Mead, is it? This makes the search seem much more frantic and unique, which of course it isn’t, in either case.
Instead, the usual stereotypes are lined up like tin cans in a shooting gallery. Jennifer, the scouse girl with a heart of gold has plenty of ill relatives and serves fries at Burger King. Like Keith Jack though, she is a student but this is not ‘rags to riches’ enough. She even comes up with her own corny catchphrase: “From waitress to West End star!” (see prediction in 1st post!).
Cut to lots of precious looking boys, straight from stage school; all desperate to utter the line: “Please sir. Can I have some more?” Each is one trying desperately to out-do the other, even at a young age: one says “I was a munchkin in The Wizard Of Oz.” The other says: “I write plays and musicals.” Graham Norton has a field day, poking fun at these (”I want this so bad”) contestants. (more…)
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No phone vote for Oliver
Friday, March 14th, 2008
With the BBC declaring that it would it would be too stressful for the child performers to be voted off; you cannot help but think the producers have someone in mind for the role already. This way, none of the plans can be scuppered. Ok, so Nancy gets picked by viewers at home. But the boy who plays Oliver is going to be like a ‘Liam’ from Billy Elliot, in terms of box office.
So, is this a cynical ploy to make us ask for more? Or, is this in the best interests of the children? Well, presumably - any child who auditioned would have had it explained that this was a reality television show; therefore, they expect the flack. What’s more, think of how the viewing figures would go through the roof if ‘pushy parents’ were sat sobbing or arguing each time their ‘mini me’ got voted off or criticised?!! Not only that, which is more damaging - being voted off by judges or the public?
It always makes me smile when the producers of a reality show suddenly develop a conscience. The contestants know what they are letting themselves in for, as do the parents and the viewers. I say, bring on the ankle biters and let the public decide!
Posted in I’d Do Anything | 4 Comments »
I’d Do Anything, for you WOS anything
Thursday, March 13th, 2008
With the new reality show I’d Do Anything about to begin on BBC One, I am going to be blogging away to my heart’s content, reporting on the good, the gruel and the runners and riders. You all know the format and many of you will know the judges; John (how busy is this man?!) Barrowman, Denise Van Outen, and Barry Humphries. Unique, this time, as these three bring the performer’s perspective.
I am sure that the press will leak some of the front runners’ names before the live shows begin. But until then, here’s how the show could evolve over the next few weeks:
There will be people crying stating how life changing this is!
Denise will then cry!
John will flirt! (with both genders!)
Graham will stick with the underdog each week.
There will be a corny catchphrase applied to a contestant: “From Wigan to the West End!”
A villian will emerge and will be despatched by the viewers.
One contestant will have nine lives.
We will all be hooked!
Whatever happens, we will be there every Saturday to report back, right here.
So, get comfy, get some “food glorious food” in for Saturday and come back here each week for the lowdown.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
Stop the Mamma Mia Madness! Out of respect for the ingenuity and persistence of Judy Craymer, timelessness of ABBA music and the sparkling professionalism of select Mamma Mia cast members both past and present, I have restrained myself until now. Mamma Mia’s transparent casting modus operandi (there is no such thing as bad or irrelevant publicity) demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of precisely the kind of audience needed for its long-term success and is an insult to: 1. the universal appeal of Mamma Mia, 2. the foundation (both economic and creative) of the West end, and 3. the creative arts in general only serving to reinforce the all too justified stereotype of the West End as becoming increasingly panicky, myopic and greedy. In a kind of “Big Brother” casting mentality (all publicity is equal), Mamma Mia specifically, and the West End in general, is sliding down a slippery slope that if allowed to run unfettered, will undoubtedly end in disaster. Casting directors seem to have reverted to playing simplistic marketing numbers games whose calculus defies all logic, even greed logic. Hollywood has already suffered immense credibility and hence financial losses due to committee-designed movies driven by “demographics” (trying to please everyone and pleasing no one in the process) in favor of letting coherent artistic works succeed or fail on their own. It reminds me of traditional methods for trapping certain animals where the animal slips its hand through a small opening to retrieve food (food being the metaphor for publicity in any form), then in the process of grasping the food, they make a fist which enlarges their hand rendering their escape impossible. Such animals predictably panic and refuse to let go, even in favor of food within reach outside the trap (raccoons have even been known to gnaw their own hand off in order to escape. Why do you think that despite increasing economic growth everywhere else it was tried, England moved at glacial speed to ban smoking! The raccoon simply couldn’t let go of one pound to grab 5 from the silent majority (which ironically includes most smokers) who don’t always want to breath the airborne excrement of others. My “no publicity is bad publicity” theory is not unsupported. I refer the reader to the TV CV’s of much of the new Mamma Mia cast. With the same kind of marketing brilliance that places the plea for the starving African child conveniently aired at dinner time during a sitcom, (who can be saved for 25p a day [complete with flies buzzing around his mouth, followed by the neglected dog that can be saved for a mere 50p daily, de-facto doubling the value of a dog’s life over that of a human’s]) a new, more insidious, kind-of “false egalitarianism,” based on the tyranny of the great unwashed majority watching the most base, badly acted and voyeuristic TV programs, becomes the new calculus casting directors seem to be relying on in order to simply put bums in seats without any regard for the long-term ramifications. I can just hear the round table discussion of the great casting minds. “We’re not pulling in enough husbands who regard Mamma Mia as a stage version of a Chick Flick; any ideas?” “How about getting Jeremy Clarkson to play Sam? All these husbands that watch top Gear would go to see him?” “But he can’t sing?” “Pish posh, we’ll get him some lessons!” To be perfectly honest, I can see no limit to how low it can sink. There is an old saying “A pessimist is an optimist well-informed, and I am all too well informed on the history of television to hold onto much hope about where this is leading. This may seem like a diversion but I think it is germane. I recently saw a truly disturbing program on TV, which showed just how deep the rot has already set in. A team of “Oxbridge” scientists tried to teach “edutain” [educate/entertain] a group of predominantly fat, stupid and lazy students on a program call “The Great Experiment.” This made Eliza Doolittle’s transformation from flower girl to model of poise and propriety look like a minor tune up. These teenagers were so woefully void of basic science knowledge, common sense, respect for themselves and others, as to render any hope of the future for western civilization, utter folly. The beginning of the program showed these scientists, intrinsically motivated to share the wonderment of science with the “students” but equally afraid to bore them, kicking things off with a “bang” by concocting every type of laboratory explosion possible. The curiosity about how and why “things go boom” lasted about as long as it takes a typical teenager to text a misspelled obscenity to another libidinous, lobotomized slug. Thus, keen to preserve the false momentum they thought they had “hooked” these deprived youth with (who by the way garnered the unearned sympathy of the scientists after it was discovered that they (the students) were not allowed to conduct any experiments in the chemistry lab [more about that later]) they took them on a field trip to none-other than Soho to teach about the “noble” gasses illuminating the signs in the sex shops; I kid you not. Talk about fighting fire with gasoline! Why not substitute heroin to wean people off of hash! So now we have a kid who cannot add single digit numbers with any reliability owing to his junk diet, video game induced lobotomy, mentally undressing his female colleagues with what little imagination he has left, learning about plasma in Soho! To cut my little trip down “edutainment lane” short, the scientists amusingly and pathetically mused, out loud, that they now knew why the teachers forbade their students to conduct experiments for safety reasons; and here the scientists thought these unenlightened teachers were just being lazy or spiteful! As a teacher, I could have told the producers of that show how it would turn out, which I suspect they already knew and in the process, succeeded in making the scientists look even more stupid (no small feat) than the knuckleheads they tried so hard to teach. No amount of American Idol-style talent shows will ever succeed in elevating a relatively unknown and unproven talent to the status of a LINZI HATELY who, year in, year out, has proven herself to be a sure thing, and deservedly so. I have a great idea. They already have celebrity boxing? Why not let the great unwashed reduce the vote to the last few Marias or Josephs or Nancys and decide the ultimate winner by some other, even more degrading means? The choices are almost limitless: 1. Tag team mud wrestling, 2. Strip poker 3. Nude auditions, 4. Fear factor themes (singing for the role while facing a pit of snakes, or leaches, or your mother French kissing Andrew Lloyd Weber? After all, the title is “I’d Do Anything,” a title that really gets my creative and sadistic juices flowing? If for no other reason, the casting directors should feel some moral obligation to at least try to minimally honor what ABBA stood for, excellence. After all, ABBA was arguably the most perfectionistic pop group ever to record, and thus I feel it behooves the casting folks to take a little more care in the process by which they select those tasked with singing ABBA’s meticulously crafted music. Since I have no illusions about appealing to the nobler side of the “West End Fat Cats” (no “CATS” pun intended or implied), I will appeal to your pocket books. The cost of mounting a production has grown exponentially over the last 20 years and makes it more critical than ever to ensure a show run longer in order to recoup the initial investment. Putting someone from a TV show into a West End production without the requisite skills to carry their fair share of the load, is a prescription for immediate success (bums in seats), followed by mid term disaster and long term apocalypse. Make no mistake; if the West End were any other industry, it would have been deregulated long ago. I can think of no other industry where the amount of money changing hands stands in such stark contrast to the complete mismatch of how those who make or break the industry are chosen, retained and compensated. For those of you who think I am a conspiracy theorist, I challenge anyone to find anything on salaries in the West End; do a google search, I dare you! In a rational and just world, the cream should rise to the top as measured by how a show performs after a cast change. There should also be a program in place that compensates top talent who elevate the status of the shows they grace, even after they leave. After all, the litmus test of a show is not how many bums are in the seats after a TV celebrity is cast in any given role, but how many are there after he or she has gone. That is the true measure of a show’s equity. Timothy Winey
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I want to find out who sings I’d do anything because well all of them sound good but I want to learn how to play it on my guitar for someone I look up to.