I was taken aback, then intrigued, when asking a colleague  if he was going to see the new King Lear at the Globe, and he replied, “I’d rather eat my own feet.”

Never mind that the show is infinitely superior to the grandiose RSC production of Trevor Nunn with Ian McKellen in the title role (which, don’t get me wrong, wasn’t as bad as Germaine Greer peevishly proclaimed) but it was the combination of “I don’t care about the Globe” (the most successful theatre in London) and the fascinating new phraseology of boredom that got me.

The thing about this new Lear is the involvement of the audience in the story. They hang on every word and twist. They simply can’t believe the eye-gouging of Gloucester. They suck in their breath. They rub their eyes. Some of them may even eat their own feet.

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How depressing is the news that Tony and Cherie Blair have bought the late John Gielgud’s magnificent Grade I-listed South Pavilion in Wotton Underwood, Bucks, as their sixth — count’em– home for a small matter of £4million?

What will the Blairs do there? They will probably host community massage conferences with their health and beauty consultant and inveterate Bill Kenwright first-nighter Carole Caplin, whose chum Peter Foster, a convicted conman, helped buy the Blairs two flats in Bristol as part of their property portfolio.

Gielgud loved his house, and its gardens, and the extravagant rococo interiors that the Blairs will probably overlay with flock wallpaper and cheap curtains. It is a symbolic and deadly appropriation of the nation’s culture, and not half as witty as Julian Clary’s purchase of Noel Coward’s Kentish country retreat, Goldenhurst, which I’m sure he treats beautifully.  

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The new David Mitchell and Robert Webb Channel 4 comedy series Peep Show opened with a grumpy pop at the theatre. Which is somewhat ironic as Webb is about to open in a West End play himself, Neil LaBute’s Fat Pig.

Our two soliloquising Croydon anti-heroes booked a double date at a fringe theatre (exterior shooting suggested the Finborough) where something so terrible was going on that Mitchell exploded, under his breath: “If this were on television nobody would be watching…I can’t believe this costs more than going to a film…” and so on.

Webb’s earlier assurance that it was safe to go as theatre’s moved on …”They use proper actors now; Americans and people off the telly”…suggested the duo were being at least semi-ironic themselves.

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I had a feeling that tonight’s sing-off was going to produce one of those curveballs, whereby you are left thinking, “How did they get through? and “why is so and so in the bottom two?” and it happened. More on that later, but first, how did we get there?

Well, firstly, we were shown footage of the girls acting, strangely, after we had voted. The Nancys worked alongside Barbara Windsor and DVO in the real Queen Victoria pub. Jodie bought life experience and was better than I had expected, Samantha looked like a soap star in waiting and I can see her as a teen vamp in Eastenders. Rachel was excellent, contrasting with Jessie who was awful. DVO agreed and then did a U-turn, talking up the Irish lass!

JUDGES’ FAVES

The group number was Lionel Bart’s “Fings Ain’t What They Used To Be.” DVO singled out (surprise, surprise!) Jessie, John praised Niamh (why?!) and Barry liked Jodie. Andrew said it was unfair to single anyone out, but then mentioned Jessie as the strongest link. I am either watching a different show to many of the judges, I am a miserable critic, or this show is geared around false comments which equal phone votes!

OLIVERS’ FAVE

The Olivers chose Sarah as their Nancy and she sang a group number with them. Read the rest of this entry »

I think Andrew Lloyd Webber must be relishing his role as the ’sulky’ judge as we witnessed a real spoof style moment, whereby he said “You don’t need to film this bit!” before stomping off. This show is certainly more formulated than all the others. But, it sure makes for good telly, whatever Kevin Spacey thinks!

The Nancys have started to look like they want it now and you can also sense that the ’sisters’ aspect of the show is starting to ebb away, as individuals are now stepping forward, away from the rest of the pack.

First up is Jodie with a very male song: “Luck Be a Lady” from the hit show, Guys And Dolls. Her acting is coming along also and Andrew says she is 10% away from being fabulous.” She has bags of personality and gives a turn which is exactly what musical theatre should be. There are some rough cabaret edges but I have seen far more O.T.T performers than her on stage recently. All power to her as she is listening and really learning.

Sarah is certainly acting better but comments that she has never been in the situation evoked by the song “Mr Bojangles!” Well, that’s what acting is for, Sarah! She delivers a good performance but it feels really stage-school and too squeaky clean for me. I am starting to get bored, as she seems to do the same every week now. Read the rest of this entry »

Suddenly epics are everywhere. Ardent cycle addicts can see all eight of the RSC’s Shakespeare Histories at the Roundhouse in the space of four days. A six-hour version of War and Peace has been occupying Hampstead Theatre. Even a living dramatist, Mark Ravenhill, lately came up with a set of 18 plays, Shoot/Get Treasure/Repeat, admittedly lasting only 20 minutes each.

Why are we so hooked on epic structures? Mostly, I think it’s part of theatre’s need to be seen as an “event”. We are bombarded daily with a ceaseless flow of information and entertainment. We also talk of “dropping in” to a movie and often give television half our attention. But theatre confirms its special-ness by making inordinate demands on us. People fought for tickets for the recent Covent Garden Ring cycle. And I’m told the first seats to sell out for the RSC Histories were the eight-pack weekend cycles.

I’ve sat through a lot of day-long shows in my time. It all began with Peter Hall’s The Wars of the Roses back in 1963. Since then, we’ve had numerous comparable events: The Oresteia, The Mysteries, Tom Stoppard’s The Coast of Utopia and the David Hare trilogy at the National; John Barton’s ten-play version of The Greeks at the RSC; Tantalus at the Barbican. And something extraordinary happens on these days. You start talking to complete strangers. You feel an unusual bond with the actors. Daily normality retreats into the background. So hermetic is the world created during these theatrical marathons that I suspect some people discover, or possibly even lose, their life-partners.

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Benedict Nightingale said the other day that the critics had disgraced themselves by giving Harold Pinter’s The Birthday Party bad reviews when it opened fifty years ago. No they hadn’t. They just didn’t like it. Harold Hobson liked it but his review was utter nonsense.

Any good or valuable new work is going to be rubbished by the critics, that’s what the critics are for.

In the eyes of most theatre professionals, a critic disgraces himself in print at least three times a week, and Ben is no exception.That’s how life is, and should be. Turning the question round, though, I’d like to know which playwrights, projects and directors Nightingale has championed against the grain of public and critical opinion in order to make a real difference. Can’t think of any.

At a time when the repertoire is narrowing and new plays receive fairly bland and supportive notices however good or bad they are, it was salutary yesterday morning to attend a play reading of a forgotten French boulevard master, Eugene Scribe, best known if at all now for his opera libretti for Verdi and Donizetti.

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Although it is hard to imagine a radical production of The Merry Widow, the heart does rather sink at the ENO’s artistic director John Berry’s reassurance in the programme that “this will be a production of The Merry Widow you will recognise.”

Still, Saturday night’s opening was full of pleasures and I found my eyes filling with tears of joy on at least three occasions, one of them when the orchestra and chorus crept up sensuously on the widow’s song about the unrequited love of a huntsman for a wood spirit, or Vilja.  

This is one of the most glorious melodies ever written and partly explains why Franz Lehar’s operetta went global a century ago, long before Andrew Lloyd Webber and Cameron Mackintosh started flooding the international market.

My piano teacher always sang Vilja at our annual pupils’ concert, as well as Softly Awakes My Heart from Saint-Saens’ Samson and Delilah, and I used to accompany her, not even knowing what the words were about but unaccountably moved by the music.

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The Lord may have regretted moonlighting on American Idol last week, as he was left with a bottom two which did not make him happy. In fact he looked like he was positively fuming. Could it be that all is not happy in camp, following his u-turn with Ashley last week and the panel’s dislike of Keisha which clearly clashed with his own views?

When asked who did well in the group song, DVO said Jodie and Andrew was mightily impressed with Keisha, which explains his temper tantrum later on. The panel were then asked who was NOT Nancy. Barry said Keisha, DVO said Ashley and John said Keisha. This is where I believe the rot had set in, as Andrew is clearly not agreeing with the panel and either expects them to tow the line or is thinking that he is on the wrong show. Read the rest of this entry »

With it being week 5, some of these wannabe Nancys are now giving lacklustre performances, with some of the favourites clearly running out of steam. We are now down to eight girls and after Fran’s departure, it’s proof that anyone could go. So, this means they all step it up a gear, right? Wrong, as Saturday saw some really bad performances.

Niamh was first up with her version of “Valerie” and it was awful. Her diction was all over the place and her dance routines were embarassing. You could argue that the song was clearly unsuitable. But, let’s face it…. this young lass is not Nancy. She is a nice performer but she has had better weeks and is now turning in distinctly average performances.

Rachel was next with “I’m With You” and she gave a much better performance. This girl is reliable and certainly has less work to do than the others. Apart from a few tuning problems, she could take the part tomorrow. Week in, week out she pleases the judges and wins over the public. Read the rest of this entry »